Yesterday morning I felt as if my life was over, this morning I felt like I had a chance at living again. Amazing what a little "meltdown" can do for a person. It seems like there will be hills and valleys while John is going through this treatment. The problem is, the valleys are deeper than crap, while the hills are about ant sized. :-)
Ok, enough self-pity for this week (I'm being honest). I truly love my husband and wouldn't trade him in for anyone else. I've actually had an actor that I had a crush on in my teen years in my office. Inches away from me, smiling at me. And all I could think about was John. Isn't it amazing. When I get into those nasty dark depressions, I need to remember that. I think that I have discovered it isn't my faith in God that will get me through this - that is unwavering and would be with me even if John and I weren't together. What will enable me to stick this out is my love for John. We are doing this so that John will have a longer life without the shadow of Hepatitis C hovering over him. Sometimes you have to go throught what seems like hell to reach heaven.
Well, John is worth that journey.
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