Testing

My faith seems to be tested a lot. There are times when it seems like life is one big test - and maybe it is. Maybe live is the final to get you into heaven. Except we don't have to study for this one. There is only one answer. Jesus.

SORROW & PAIN

I'm really fond of a song we've been doing this month at my church called "Trading My Sorrows". It's not that easy to sing, and our congregation being a mature one is having difficulty with it. But I keep on singing it. Why? Because we need to learn it, we need to embrace the words.

We had one member who used to choose her songs by the words; she rarely knew what it sounded like before she'd rehearse, but she knew she liked the words.

That's how it is with this song. I am trading my sorrows and pain for the Lord's joy. His joy is so much better.

I admit that sometimes when I'm leading the worship songs I get so into the song that I forget that there are people trying to follow my lead. I'm singing to God and the congregation seems to disappear for a moment. Then I'll realize where I am and the moment is lost. But, man, while it lasted, it was a great moment.

That's what worship should be - nobody there but you and God.

Depression

Well, here we go again. Where is your faith if you are depressed? Well, faith does not mean you won't get depressed. Faith is believing in something. Faith is not a cure-all. So, I'm depressed. Why? I miss my mom. Looking at our church photobucket earlier I found a photo that I hadn't seen. (Thanks, Lizet, for taking it.) It really makes me miss her more. This week a lot of things have happened that I wanted to call her up and tell her about, but I can't because she isn't there. Missing someone is awful. My faith tells me that I'll see her again someday in Heaven, but, you know what? That doesn't help me now.

Depression. It stinks. And I still miss my mom.

Zoos

Well, my husband and I have been to two Zoos lately, the Los Angeles Zoo, and the San Diego Zoo. Now we're planning a trip to Santa Barbara to see the - what else - Zoo!

This little meerkat is from the LA Zoo. He or one of his relatives was the inspiration for Timon in the Lion King. (Disney is, after all, only 2 minutes from the zoo.)

And this "little lady" is from San Diego where she swam a lovely circular "ballet" for my husband.

STRESS

Well, stress is rearing its ugly head.

To be honest, I come from a long line of worriers. The Barrett women were world-renowned for it. (That's my mother's mother's side.) We are so good at it, and so prolific, that we worry when we aren't worried. Well, worry leads to stress, which brings me to today's blog. I'm worried. What a surprise. I'm worried about work. I'm worried about my family. I'm worried about my husband. Heck, I'm even worried about my dog. Like I said, a long line.

Well, now because of that, I'm stressed. So, since the blog itself is called faith, I find myself asking myself - "so, where's your faith?". I haven't answered myself yet.

Where is my faith?

I think it's the same place as always. Surrounding me with protection from myself. The trouble is, that the stress takes a toll on everything else. I'm diabetic. I get stressed, my sugar goes up. I get stressed, I eat, my sugar goes even higher. So, where is my faith? Well, it has kept me from getting nuts and eating things I shouldn't. My faith has kept me from breaking into tears. My faith is what is going to get me through this.

Where is faith when you go through hard times? Right there. Faith is how you go through them, and don't get stuck or stopped. Faith is what keeps you from giving up. Well, I'm a worrier, not a quitter. I have faith.

Lazy Saturdays

Well, it's another Saturday. Slept really late and haven't done much but laundry. Lazy Saturdays are the best. My mood is rather somber today. Guess I worry too much about what is going to happen, but having faith doesn't mean you don't worry. It means that when you do worry you also know when to stop and not obsess. And you now who will take care of things ultimately. I'm not sure how I would cope if I didn't have my faith in Jesus.





Next week we go to the Jet Propulsion Laboratory for the annual Open House. It's one of our favorite things - we went to our first one shortly after John and I began dating. Odd, but I feel really connected to God at these things. How can you see the magnificence of his creation without seeing Him?





Faith is a hard thing to explain. If you have faith then it needs no explanation, bu tif you do not have faith then you cannot understand it. Many of the folks who work at JPL have faith, and the rest just look at them as if they are nuts. It's ok. God will explain it to the others someday.



























Well, time to take care of the laundry. :-)

Worry

Now is when faith is tested. My husband is facing drug therapy to combat Hepatitis C. At the best he'll be sick once a week. At the worst he'll be sick most of the time. We don't know what physical changes his body will undergo. Hair loss, weight loss, appetite loss. The gain is that the Hep will be cured. In the meantime, we will both need our faith in God to give us the strength. One thing we need to remember is that Jesus did not die so that we would suffer. He suffered, and died, so that we would be healed.